In a world where we have too much stuff to begin with, gifts can be an especially touchy subject. More than half of Americans unwrapped a present they didn’t want in 2024, adding up to roughly $10 billion worth of stuff that got returned, is sitting somewhere collecting dust, or, worse, already burping methane in a landfill.
The best answer for a planet-minded birthday gal or guy, Valentine, or host is to simply forgo goodies. This might seem as simple as writing “no gifts, please” on an invitation, but getting your loved ones to follow suit can be a little tricky. How do you actually get everyone on board with saying “no” to excess stuff—while still keeping celebrations lighthearted and fun? Let’s discuss.
While the phrase “no gifts, please” is pretty direct, it often prompts confusion and even fear among potential gift-givers. “We express social closeness and care for another through gift exchange,” says Ayelet Fishbach, a professor of behavioral science and marketing at the University of Chicago. “For some, there are no good substitutes—expressing emotions directly may feel awkward.” It can be hard to cut off this form of communication, she adds; not gifting can feel like not saying how they feel.
One way to get the point across effectively is turning a “no” into a “yes,” a fliparoo that can still preserve the gifter’s agency. Instead of saying “no” to being spoiled by loved ones every now and again, you can say “yes” to alternative treats that aren’t just another candle or hoodie that might end up returned, donated, or regifted. There are endless ways to make this happen—and create opportunities for new fond memories along the way. Here’s a few of our favorites.
Embrace the swap
Whether it’s clothes, toys, home decor, or gadgets, the swap party works overtime. It can delight recipients with a new-to-them item, offer attendees an opportunity to declutter, and help promote circularity all while saving some cash. If you’re hosting, ask attendees to bring gently used items that align with your theme, be it a sweater swap, book swap, kitchen gadget swap, or beyond. And ask that items come unwrapped to cut out that waste, too.
A kid’s birthday party is a great place to employ the swap strategy—no new gifts, just a chance for toy trading. You can make your own rules: Let the birthday star pick their gift first, then let the other tykes choose based on randomly assigned numbers, or some other system you devise (maybe it’s part of a game everyone plays?).
Pick a cause
Some folks, no matter how hard you beg, will be compelled to spend money on you. So let them. Start associating with a cause that’s important to you, and let persistent gifters know that you’d like a donation in your name. (You can peruse options that fit your interests on Charity Navigator, or opt for an overarching planet-promoting org like the World Resources Institute, the Sierra Club Foundation, and the Environmental Defense Fund.)
You can send out donation links or add them to a party invite, or just regularly reinforce to folks that you’re cutting waste and plan to make a cause your preferred method of accepting pressies. This is a great way to funnel their well-meaning gift-giving energy into something that goes toward bettering the planet, rather than ravaging it.
The best gifts are edible and drinkable
Great gifts are ones that don’t go to waste, so consider requesting food when hosting your next fête. When your guests inevitably ask, “What can I bring?” and won’t take “just yourselves” for an answer, suggest something that they themselves would like to snack on or drink. As much as you’re able, plan around these extras by serving a bit less than you originally had intended to prevent food waste.
Ask for time, not things
There’s a host of research that suggests spending time together makes us happier than spending money on one another. Need some ideas? Host an at-home cooking class where you teach your loved ones how to make your most beloved dish. Find a dog-friendly trail to explore with a friend who won’t leave the house without their pooch. Spend an afternoon learning to play a pal’s favorite board game. If there’s something you’d want a friend or family member to teach you, outright ask them. Try something like, “Hey, instead of a birthday present this year, would you spend the day teaching me how to make your tiramisu?” Chances are, they will be delighted and take care of the rest.